One thing I have come across lately are several youth pastors who have regrets for not standing up for certain things in the past. I know of some who are facing tough things now and are asking the question, “How do you deal with this?”

I resonate fully with those who are going through this or have been through it. A few years ago I had a trip pulled out from under my feet 3 days before we were to leave and there was nothing I could do about it. All because of one guy objecting to it. Looking back I wish I would have fought that one. It was a sad situation. I

Here are a few things I think about how you should handle such conflict when it happens.

  • Choose – choose the battles you want to fight. Some are worth it. Some are not. There are things I wish I would have fought harder on in the past 10 years of ministry. Choose which things are of great value and importance to your ministry and defend them. Things may not always go the way you thought they should but at least you will go down swinging.
  • Do it in love – once you choose if it’s worth it or not defend it in love. It’s ok to be passionate about your method or idea but do it in love. Don’t let your passion come across as arrogance. Sometimes those that have been in ministry for a long time get used to doing things “the old way” and aren’t willing to try new things.
  • Be supported – Make sure your team supports you. More than that make sure you have your SP’s support in it. If he’s not supporting you in it maybe it’s not a great idea after all. It’s not worth going to war over if you don’t have the support of your SP.
  • Be real – be real and honest with the one challenging you. If your SP supports it and a deacon/ elder along is stopping it go to bat for the idea. One man shouldn’t be able to shut something down. Now if it’s the whole board then I think it’s wise to not fight the battle. If it’s one man then by all means it’s worth it. Be real and honest though. Do it in love and compassion. Sometimes the SP has to be the one to make the tough choice to override the one man’s decision. That’s not an easy thing. Just like eh supported your idea or event you need to support him lovingly when he goes to bat for you and when people try to attack his ministry…especially when the attacks are unfounded.
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